Dissociated


A thousand-yard stare
leaves ice shelf
ravines
grandiose canyons
constant chasms
Calcuttan
black holes


Cumberland gaps
and devils
betwixt
here
and
there

Kentucky doesn’t exist
and there is no otherside

Purgatorial
is the in-between space
of neither


here
nor
there

Heavenly hellishness
Wings of burning nothingness

No future or past
nevermind
the presence
drifting in the space
amidst


sane and insane
on an asteroid without
any future collision
purposeless
and simply without a
here
or
there


A memorandum written
on paper lost in a foreign galaxy
by a chaotic spaceship crash







Dissociated.


A Dervish, named; ‘Constantine’.


I, Myself. Constantine.
A trailblazer. Making my mark,
until tremors, quaking, and, a long lived aftershock. Got trapped, got sick, now,
making my way home; to Torment.
Manifested;
off-track, lost, unfound, raging, bitter, twisted.
And, sick. Obviously.


Disorientated, tranquil tornadoes,
of, marauding memories,
revolve statically;
sarcastically whirling,
with the sincerest, of all, ironies;
like a Dervish, riding a languid carousel,
a Dervish, named;
‘Constantine’.
The inert twisters,
carry, and, cast –
concealed emotions,
that are; born to seek death,
that are; created to destroy.


The camouflaged
saliences, are;

re -visited,
re -worn,
re -vealed;

‘In the stitching –
a khirqa of shame, whispers, “guilt survives, long after, the dead, have been mourned.” As sorrow seeps, from, a blood-soaked; hood, cuffs, and, sleeves – where cloying, bloodthirsty tarmac, bore it’s teeth, causing shudders. Devouring all escapes, to salvation.
And, after grasping, deep-down,
in those, endless, cloak pockets, Mercy, was found slain. Smothered, by iniquity, concrete, rocks and rubble, as compassion is, demolished by dark, anguished,
traumatic silences.’


Uncontrollable
obedience – stagnantly spins,
and, turns, soothing provocations,
into, a, swooner’s consciousness.
Hushed screeches vomit, teasing and tormenting; to mutilate…
To massacre;
a begging, bruised, exhausted, inner-sanctum.


A colourless draining.
The colour is fading,
from psyche’s cheeks,
a liquidating; of shady pulp,
of soft, once radiant,
rainbow spattered, but, now, only;
grey matters.


I, Myself. Constantine.
A soggy, battered, quivering, hasbeen. An already; blazed trail.
Long forgotten.
Lying beneath,
a superego’s ocean-jungle undergrowth, where there, once was, a long, plumed, dove-white robe.
Overgrown, crestfallen, and, un-phren-dly;
lying beneath,
the forsaken waves, of; lost seas, past shocks and, cruel, convulsive, inclemencies.



The purest vengeance of all


To triumph over adversity, is to know, the purest vengeance of all. For, those who doubted, ridiculed, disbelieved, gossiped about and wronged you, are forced to realise, that:
they were wrong.
Nothing needs to be said, nor, interaction had. Yet, there is; a secret, smiling jocund, a humble, solemn joy, a discreet, soulful jubilance = in knowing that; the universal scales are, once more, balanced, and, true justice is restored.



Shell shock


My sword, my shield, are heavy now,

the battles rage, my neck feels bowed.

Once more;

my head’s above the parapet,

princely darkness; devil silhouette.


Rancour,

blood and fire, steel and death,

cling to the air; grasping breath.

Encore,

there is no time for plaudits’ sorrow;

every ‘moment’ had – scorned by tomorrow.


This suit of armour wears a chink,

whenever the owner bears to think,

deeply;

in ocean beds; discomfort lurking,

from the pearl of wisdom; I’m undeserving .


Discreetly,

these battled wits within my mind,

devise painfulness, a brand new kind;

obliquely.

This ever present convalescence

makes; funeral pyres of my presence.


A prison of another’s design


Caged birds dream of tasting clouds

and soaring above hasting crowds.

Magnolia walls trap Southern promise

I’ll clip my wings for another’s solace.


Metal struts; horizontal sorrow,

beaming the echo of glottal morose.

The rise and fall of neck and seed;

the emptiness, the peck and plead.


A flighty notion hungers inside;

a prison of another’s design.

Resistance unfed; futility;

no fight, bereft, flightless.

Brain dead, drained, lifeless;

for we bred in captivity.


Worn out


Worn out. What was it all for, now?

Forlorn, forgot about;

a black hole where I did shout.

Gone are days – they’re sieved out;

when I take what they give out.


Worn out;

stretched, tumbled, starched;

a struggle to get clean.

Life has left. Ragged and torn now;

by schemes that pull us apart

at the seams.


Worn out;

mangled on a daily basis.

Squeezed until the lemon is no longer envious.

The nights are what is mourned now;

whilst wearing bitter-tasting faces;

the lemon was so wrong to envy us.


Worn out;

nostalgia is a loose thread

that I’m comfortable pulling until the spool is empty.

The belt and buckle are beaten, scorned, now.

Loose mind, loose mouth; lassoed head.

And, except for moi, the launderette for fool’s is empty.


Worn out;

courage is a pair of shoes I spent my last days cleaning and shining.

And, after all that scrubbing my soles have fallen through.

So very tired of living; in exchange for weaving threadbare dreams of being; perpetually quartered, hung and drawn, out.

And, while I’m, dead, focused on the whining;

I’ve missed the infinite hole I’ve fallen into.


Worn out. Please, no more, now.

Withdrawn, without;

spent all, less discount.

Bon marché is a lived shroud;

when I take what they give out.